forget cannibalism. there's more to Armie Hammer's sexting comments

If you haven’t heard wtf is going on with Armie Hammer or just pushed this outlandish gossip to the side because this country is literally giving its all for the season finale of “Amerikkka”, let’s catch up. Because it’s important.

Anonymous account House of Effie released unverified DMs between the Call Me By Your Name actor and former girlfriends allegedly confirming his cannibalism and BDSM kinks. A past interview has resurfaced of Hammer gave Playboy hints on his sexual preferences back in 2013. "I liked the grabbing of the neck and the hair and all that. But then you get married and your sexual appetites change.” Continuing with: “"It gets to a point where you say, 'I respect you too much to do these things that I kind of want to do.""

While Hammer’s team hasn’t confirmed the screenshots, this Twitter user put his unconfirmed situation into a fresh perspective:

Through BDSM, violence and pleasure can physically manifest through consensual partnership. However, understanding that misogyny, racism, sexism etc., can sometimes (not always) be an unchecked ulterior motive, is just one aspect that keeps this practice ‘taboo’. Hammer’s Playboy comment years ago reflects this dangerous rhetoric for those in the BDSM community. It promotes and further ostracizes members who willingly participate in safe, communicative and equal roles. More importantly, it blatantly exposes how deeply internalized misogyny is rooted in an act that seeks sexual liberation. Through Armie’s mindset (and other men) freedom can only be obtained by one’s ability to demean or degrade women in a judgement-free environment.

By playfully insinuating that either: 1. His wife isn’t into “hair pulling” so he can’t satisfy his sexual appetite (therefore she’s a bore) or 2. She is into it, but because he saw her as an equal who also needs to be satisfied in her own ways — he couldn’t maintain his sexual satisfaction.

While Hammer, his ex-wife and his past girlfriends' sex life is NONE of our business, what is our business is how we view and value women, even privately. Think about the top rated and most viewed categories on your favorite porn site (Almost a year into this pandemic, you should have a favorite site by now). How many of these categories are tailored for the traditional male appetite? How many favor the male gaze? How many promote one-sided violence? Of course some may argue that these are just ~*fantasies*~. They’re supposed to be wild, unconventional and something you cannot easily do, which is absolutely true! However, acting out a fantasy with someone else (even with their consent), is not without accountability.